How to Handle Stress

If the answer is yes or sometimes, you're not alone. Many people report that they are under too much stress. Many things may cause stress excessive job demands, troubled relationships, responsibilities caring for children or aging parents, financial pressures, illness, not enough time, or not enough opportunities to go out and have fun.

A moderate amount of stress is actually good for us. For example, the fact that guests will be arriving in a few hours can motivate most of us to stop procrastinating and clean the house. We need a certain level of stress to keep us going. Nevertheless, many perhaps most of us would like to feel less stress.

Stress is a state of mental or emotional tension that results from a combination of:

Some life events such as a death in the family or loss of a job cause stress for just about everyone. Other events like getting a speeding ticket will cause stress for some people and not for others. Happy events can be stressful as well. Graduating from college, getting married and starting a new job are all joyful occasions, but they can still be stressful.

When seeking to reduce stress, you may not be able to control events or change the people or circumstances around you. However, you can always focus on your own personal reaction to people and events.

Many experiences may be stressful or not, depending on how you view them. For example, some people become stressed when their house is messy or their bills are overdue, while other people may not be upset by such annoyances. A traffic jam may be an outrage for a salesman intent upon filling a busy schedule, but for the teenager in the car behind him that same traffic jam may be an opportunity to crank up the music and enjoy the sun.

If you examine most situations in which you feel stress (for example, a traffic jam), you will discover they are no more than unfortunate, inconvenient, or unpleasant. Your thoughts and reactions are a large part of what makes them stressful.

Stuck in a traffic jam, you may think to yourself, This is horrible, this is awful. I shouldn't be inconvenienced by this traffic jam. I can't stand it. When you think this way, the experience becomes much worse. What starts out as an inconvenient situation becomes a true catastrophe. More than the situation itself, your own thinking has created stress. You've created a mental image of the situation that is more stressful than reality.

Think about a time when you felt stressed. Picture the situation. Try to recall how you thought and felt at the time. If you thought you couldn't stand it and felt out of control and helpless, you probably felt more stressed than you might have otherwise.

How can you change your responses to decrease the stress in your life? One way is to pay attention to the things you tell yourself. If you notice yourself, saying, I can't stand it, ask yourself: Is it true that I can't stand it or is this a situation that I can stand but would rather not experience?

One technique: Try to see the situation as objectively as you can. Think about the situation as an outsider would. Try to separate the actual situation from your own thoughts and feelings. This may not always be easy if you have strong emotions around a person or event.

The accumulation of pressures and demands job, family, and finances may create stress. Feeling stressed out may be a signal that you need to make changes. This many mean taking control of the demands placed on you and eliminating some of them (if possible) or strengthening your ability to withstand them. Some techniques are described below.

Make a list of things that stress you out. Be honest and thorough; you can always cross things off later. Job (or lack of job), neighbors, disobedient dog, back pain, spouse, children, housework, bills.you get the idea.

Now take a look at your list. What changes can you make to shorten this list? What are the most important items on the list you need to address to reduce the stress in your life?

Reducing your stress may be a matter of establishing priorities and simplifying. Don't feel like you have to do everything perfectly. In fact, dont feel like you even have to do everything. Example: The kitchen floor needs mopping. Ask yourself, can it wait one more day, or will the Kitchen Police come and confiscate your Swiffer?

Getting exercise, eating healthfully and getting plenty of rest can go a long way to helping you cope with stress.

Exercise improves your mood and your health. As little as 15 or 20 minutes of brisk walking can do the trick. Consistency is key. Twice a month won't cut it. Shoot for at least three times a week, but five or six times a week is even better.

Keep junk food out of your house, car, and desk. Keep healthy snacks handy, and drink plenty of water.

No one seems to get enough sleep these days, but being fatigued makes things worse. Try going to bed early one or two times per week (we promise the extra sleep will be much better for you than an hour of reality TV).

Relaxation techniques can be as simple as getting in a comfortable position and paying attention to your breathing. Just focus on the inhalethen the exhale. Picture yourself on a beach, or in a hammock, or lying in a field full of flowers (assuming you don't have pollen allergies). As little as five or 10 minutes of this can revitalize you.

Progressive muscle relaxation is another technique: Breathe deeply and relax each muscle group in your body, one at a time, focusing on how it feels when completely relaxed. This one is great for bedtimeyou might not make it through all the muscle groups before you fall asleep.

Isolation leads to stress. No man (or woman) is an island; we're social animals. Surround yourself with people you enjoy being with, and go to them for advice or a friendly ear. You can find like-minded people through your hobbies or interests. There's a group for everything these days, from aerobics to zither playing. In addition, support groups exist to accommodate virtually every problem, need, lifestyle and belief system. If you feel isolated, seek support.