Depression Following Childbirth
Being a mom isn't instinctive. There's no magic spell to ensure that when your child arrives you will automatically know what to do. (If such a spell did exist, the publishers of parenting books would be in big trouble.)
The sudden changes in schedule, responsibility and expectations in a new mother's life, coupled with the hormonal changes that come with giving birth, can knock anyone for a loop. It's little wonder that the baby blues affect about one in two women, and to postpartum depression affect about one in 10.
Baby Blues or Postpartum Depression?
The baby blues occur for the first few weeks after delivery you may feel sad, irritable and worried. Postpartum depression is more serious: It lasts longer, doesn't go away on its own, and can progress if it's not treated. It can ultimately affect your health and the health of your baby.
How It Feels
Often, women with postpartum depression appear to other people to be totally in control and have it all together. However, here's what they say about how postpartum depression feels:
I'm a bad mother
I'm going crazy
Like I can't do anything right
Like I'll never feel like myself again
I should have never had this baby
My husband will get tired of me
What Happens
Here's what a woman may experience during postpartum depression:
- Sleeping or eating too much, or too little.
- Crying a lot, extreme anxiety, anger, guilt
- Extreme negative thinking
- Feeling sad or hopeless most of the time
- Being extremely worried about the baby
- Showing little or no interest in the baby
- Having little energy and feeling tired
- Frequent, sudden mood changes
- Poor concentration or difficulty remembering things
- Chronic pain with no known cause
- Little or no interest in sex
Keep in mind that most, if not all, new moms experience some of these symptoms (for example, most dont get enough sleep, and are not all that interested in sex). But if most or all of these things apply to you, consider asking for help.
Many women with postpartum depression never think about hurting their baby, but some do. Please call your doctor TODAY if you have thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby.
Women at Risk
Some women who are more likely to develop postpartum depression include:
- Women who had postpartum depression before
- Women with a history of depression
- Women with little or no support from their spouse or partner
- Women who have communication problems with their spouse
- Women with low self-esteem
- Women with inadequate social and emotional support
- Women who experience stressful events during pregnancy or shortly after birth
Little Known Fact
Postpartum depression doesn't just start after the birth of a baby; it can appear before birth, or months after birth. Postpartum depression can also occur in women who've had a miscarriage or recently weaned a child from nursing.
Things You Can Do
There's always something you can do to make your life better. Some of these steps don't even have to wait until your baby is born.
Ask for Help
If you think you might have postpartum depression, call someone. It doesn't have to be your doctor or your Ob/Gyn. Call your midwife, or a good friend, or your mom. Call someone, talk, and ask for help. If the person writes off your concerns or seems not to be listening, call someone else, or ask your partner or spouse to call for you.
Don't Overdo It
Do you really need to clean the entire house, do all the laundry and go grocery shopping in one day? What would happen if you just sat on the couch for 20 minutes with your baby.napped when your baby napped.took a long walk in the afternoon? No one will call the dust police. Trying to do it all will exhaust you and make you cranky and resentful, and you don't deserve that. Neither does your baby.
Get Outside
Try to get outside every day for at least 15 or 20 minutes. (Really, this is good advice for everyone.) Think about it: People go on vacation to sit in the sun, walk on the beach, ski or swim. But when was the last time you put a lawn chair on your lawn and sat in the sun, or took a walk in your neighborhood? There's nothing like a little fresh air and exercise. Put your baby in a carrier or a stroller (or the arms of another adult), and head on out.
Find Support
Many women find support, advice, or just a friendly ear by joining playgroups, online discussion boards, or by calling or e-mailing friends who have kids. Most moms' groups welcome expectant moms too, so don't feel like you have to wait until the baby is born to show up and meet other women!
For Every Mom
It's easy to feel overwhelmed by the constant needs of a newborn. Lots of moms feel guilty for wanting time to themselves or help with infant care, but here's the truth: It's hard, and you have to take care of yourself in order to be a good mom for your baby. Think about it this way: If one of your friends called and asked for your help, would you judge her or help her?
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